5 Parenting Books for New Parents by Diaper Cakes Baby Gifts Singapore

This compilation post was first published on the Diaper Cakes Baby Gifts Blog.

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Here are 5 books on parenting/children that caught our eye.

1. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.

For example, instead of saying “You shouldn’t be mad at your brother, he’s only three!” you say “I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed in our house.” or, “He’s too young to understand how special those are to you, so how can we keep your things safe?”

You let your child know you are paying attention to how they feel, before you focus on solving the problem and it seems to release a pressure valve for them and for you.

The second thing they emphasize is to make correcting behaviour about the behaviour, and not about the child. Instead of “Get your homework! You always forget things!” you just say, “Homework needs to go to school with you.”

These techniques eliminate the blaming and other behaviours we learned as children and replace them with more helpful ways to dialogue and focus on solving the problem versus seeking to blame. One of the best communication books you will ever read.

Link: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

2. The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls by Valorie Schaefer and Josee Masse

I LOVE this book. My daughter and I read through this book together once already jumping from section to section. She loves reading about her body and what to expect through puberty. She picks it off the shelf every once and a while and asks me to read different sections with her that particularly peak her interest. It has been a great forum for discussion and lays everything out in such a way that we are able to have open and frank discussions in an age appropriate way. I would recommend this book to anyone with a daughter entering puberty.

Link: The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls, Revised Edition

3. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2–12 by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D.

It was helpful in understanding what to do when you as a parent get frustrated with your children. I especially liked the authors explanation on little-adult syndrome. Children are not naturally logical like adults and I make that mistake all the time with my five year-old because he talks to me like he’s an adult sometimes.

To make the counting discipline effective you have to use silence. I’ve found it effective and it certainly helps me keep my cool, however, I felt that some of the examples shared in the book the parents weren’t listening to the child. I think listening to our children is important to their self esteem. The book is an easy read and though I didn’t agree with everything, I think it is helpful in understanding how to discipline children.

Link: 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 212

4. The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, PhD and Ross Campbell, MD

I thought this book had some great practical advice for how to effectively show love to our children. Even just a few small changes I’ve made because of this book have made a big difference in my relationship with my kids, especially one I’d been struggling with. Highly recommend this book to any parent or person who works with children.

Link: The 5 Love Languages of Children